The Afterlife of Love

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One of these days I’d die of the fatality of this affair.

It’s etching, this feeling.

My lungs are emptying

And I stare in the space

Where once love stood

Wetting my mouth and my cunt with its sweet appraisal.

Now there’s ashes in my mouth

And the pits have replaced my eyesockets

I am ugly, it seems.

Love won’t approach me.

Dressed exactly how I want it to be, dressed.

In dried brown leaves and smelling like you.

I had been dangling.

From one object to the other

And from one feeling to the other.

My mind trying to find an orgasmic pleasure.

And it did,

Oh! But my sweet etching love

When did you change?

Leaving me pricking my own skin

Watching it shed blood, in perfect round dots.

I am perfectly out of my mind now

Scared of every approaching beast dressed in the most beautiful costumes

Listen to me,

I feel a lot

So much that my mind starts abusing my heart

And threatens to kill it if it starts complaining.

So,

I keep quiet you know.

And watch you slip away

Loving you still, for my heart might die if I don’t.

 

LOOP

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Lovers found and lovers lost.

Kisses shared and kisses that you forgot.

You wanted to keep her but you can’t.

You didn’t want to forget him, but you did.

The flame that you are burning in

For you can’t claim her and you can’t claim him.

You stab their existence,

And it’s your sadness that bleeds.

All these songs and the flowers in your backyard.

Once beautiful, now are charred records

Figments of your soul,

Travelling to other universes,

With the one forgotten and the one you are forgotten by.

Are we ever to cross paths?

Yes, in your mind and vision for the days to come.

She will still be in your dreams,

But she will appear to you only as the faded and the dirty picture hanging by the wall.

And for a new face you’d fall.

Lovers found and lovers lost.

You may not find someone like him,

She may not smell like her.

But when the time comes

You will bend your elastic heart

And don’t worry, you will adjust.

There is a universe, you like to think

Where there is a world for you and him

There still is, but what is hers is not yours.

And what is his is not yours.

What is not yours is not yours.

Would you do me a favour?

Just take care.

What you are looking for is not lost.

Its right here

And it’s right there.

Debris

From strangling my heart with your presence

To feeling my own skin with my own fingers

This is what remains

From the glitter of the turbulent youth on my cheeks

To the freckles of despaired youth.

This is what remains.

From loving you like a mad dog

To holding on to that last thread of hope.

This is what remains.

From smouldering in your words and the chiseled body

To struggling to paint a picture of yours.

This is what remains.

From shedding the clothes of what belonged to you

To packing myself up in a rug.

This is what remains.

From laying myself down like the land beneath your feet

To completely giving up on everything.

Now it’s ME that remains.