Tamed Wilderness


Years have passed since all the agonizing moments of the numerous train wrecks

Still today, when I sit by my huge window

Staring out in the wild, and that at the happy skies

Somehow, it doesn’t make me feel good

I curse them for their deadly blissful demeanor

And put my curtains on, both that open to the wilderness outside and that the inside

I stand there behind the raging gush of anger, regret and loss

And shout so silently inside that all my cells hear it

“Fuck you”, they say, “You’re back old friend?”  

I know, we know, you are here for a piece of her.

Just cut it and please be gone. Please be gone.

Old friend being the “fervour”

And when you can’t keep it away,

you let it stay and kill you.

So did I.

When it started shredding me, I realized why there’s no wind blowing around me

A little push to the curtains and I let it in,

Is why.

When it starts chipping me

There be many places that tear

I then hear a sound, it sounds like a whimper

I clutch my spurting pain, I turn my ears away

I feel myself splitting and the whimper won’t fade.

I don’t loosen my clutch

And let the agony work its way

No I don’t give up, it’s them who have to quit

I have been making you feel home, fervour.

The time we were friends and now that we are foes

Still making you feel home.

“Hey fucker”, talk my cells again,

Are you done? Would you leave?

There’s not enough left

Come again.

Sometime soon

You’ll have more to eat.

 

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Much senile, much true. Best friend I like the long walks with you.

As senseless as it may seem, best memories are those I day dream.

Strolling through the streets of a different city with you I realized some people are here to stay for a lifetime.

Out of the heaps of burnt cigarette buds, puffs from that first cigarette nothing could curb.

Cheating your loved ones comes with situation; stealing some moments away from a busy life comes with misery’s inflation.

 One’s who throw their hearts out, we resist, we renounce. For the ones who hide them in their golden keeps, we stout?

Read, you will get enlightened. Write and you’ll have people frightened.

Be as stupid as you can for the people you dearly like and as cold as ice for the ones you dislike.

Not thinking over repercussions is smart not caring is just a petty art.

Sabotaging someone with your love is called an expectation. Setting someone free with your love is
called deliberation.

Your hair tangled in my fingers is my compassion. My hair tangled in them is mere indolence.

What I have written is boredom’s spectrum and what I am feeling is nothing short of a tantrum.

Sanity

May the morning make you forget it all.But sadly, it doesn’t.
The same stagnant looks, the same foul speech, its the same.
I thought seeing the morning sun, which tells you, you lived another day would make you happy mother.
It doesn’t.
If you’re waiting for the sun inside me to rise.
Let me tell you, it’s a long wait.
Glory and all things lustrous are for the ones born privileged.
But I’m poor by virtue, like many others, like you.
Young, wild and free they say.
When the blood’s still running warm and fast, young.
When the roads look all dark and you see a ray of light stealing in, you run chasing it, wild.
When you got nothing to lose, free.
I write about it, give it a meaning and live by it.
Trying to fix me, not a solution, not a way.
Because I’m accepting no fixtures for my self.
I’m good.
To you, goodbye.