Years have passed since all the agonizing moments of the numerous train wrecks
Still today, when I sit by my huge window
Staring out in the wild, and that at the happy skies
Somehow, it doesn’t make me feel good
I curse them for their deadly blissful demeanor
And put my curtains on, both that open to the wilderness outside and that the inside
I stand there behind the raging gush of anger, regret and loss
And shout so silently inside that all my cells hear it
“Fuck you”, they say, “You’re back old friend?”
I know, we know, you are here for a piece of her.
Just cut it and please be gone. Please be gone.
Old friend being the “fervour”
And when you can’t keep it away,
you let it stay and kill you.
So did I.
When it started shredding me, I realized why there’s no wind blowing around me
A little push to the curtains and I let it in,
When it starts chipping me
There be many places that tear
I then hear a sound, it sounds like a whimper
I clutch my spurting pain, I turn my ears away
I feel myself splitting and the whimper won’t fade.
I don’t loosen my clutch
And let the agony work its way
No I don’t give up, it’s them who have to quit
I have been making you feel home, fervour.
The time we were friends and now that we are foes
Still making you feel home.
“Hey fucker”, talk my cells again,
Are you done? Would you leave?
There’s not enough left
You’ll have more to eat.